Sunday, January 30, 2011

Only one thing to say:

end of story.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

'CANCER' is an ugly word

     On January 13th, We found out my dad has cancer. It sucks. We knew it was a possibility, but actually hearing the word 'cancer' stings. He went through his first round of chemo from January 20th until the 24th and is now resting before the next round. It scares me, but we have a lot of friends and family praying for him and for us, and it is reassuring. I am thankful to be serving such a mighty God! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my faith in Him. That is what gives me my strength. A lot of people have commented lately on my strength through the trials we have all endured (especially in the last 6 months!) and I can honestly say that I alone am NOT a strong person. The only reason I have strength at all is because of God.
    Now, on to another (and more positive) subject. Next week Matt comes home from JRTC :) I am very excited to see my hubby! We also get to begin our IUI cycle next week and I am very much looking forward to it. It is going to be a long month, yes, but I believe it will be a good one. A month filled with hope at least! I am just praying the big cyst I had is gone, or at least small enough to move forward without surgery. I'm not too worried about it though.
     I would like to address one other thing as it relates to our infertility journey. I received the sweetest message last night from a friend who is about halfway through her pregnancy and is yet to share the news with the world. She took my feelings into consideration and wanted me to know before I found out another way. She didn't have to do that, but she did, and it meant a lot. She let me know how my struggles have helped her through her pregnancy as it was a surprise at first and she had to learn to accept the baby that is on the way. All I have to say is WOW.. Thank you God for using me and my hardships to bless someone else! It helped me in ways she probably will never know, because it allowed me to accept what is and to realize there truly is a reason behind all of this. :) God is so good! I hope He can continue to use me in a way to inspire others and hopefully soon as a way of HOPE as hopefully we'll get good news at some point (and we will)!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

23 - Welcome!

Today is my 23rd birthday. It has been just a normal day for the most part, but I am happy to welcome a new age and a new year in my life. I am visiting with my family in Michigan right now because Matt is away at JRTC (pre-deployment training) for a month in Louisiana. They are scheduled to deploy again in May, although we are unsure at this point whether or not Matt will be going. I am hoping he doesn't have to go, but I am alright with it if he has to. We've already been through a deployment before and I know what to expect this time around if he goes. I am sure it will still be difficult,and I am not looking forward to it, but at this point it hasn't hit me that there is even a possibility. Anyway, in the fertility world, this is what is going on..

This past cycle has been a mess! I am officially LATE and no period in sight (TMI for some I am sure, sorry). The problem is that there is no positive test in sight either... so I am pretty sure that my PCOS is messing up my hormones again and I either didn't ovulate, or I ovulated late.. not sure. I haven't taken any medication since November's cycle so that could be why. At this point, I just wish it would start so I can take my birth control pills, get my hormones in sync and hopefully get rid of the cyst that the doctor's want gone before we proceed with the IUI next month. I am supposed to take them, and then get off of them in a few weeks when Matt gets back home. I am anxious and ready for February to start. I am nervous about giving myself injections (needs to go in the abdomen) and then the HCG trigger shot which is an intramuscular shot that is 1 1/2 inches long... ouch! Not sure I can do that to myself.. going to need help for that one! Ready to get this show on the road... here's to hoping it works! (But not TOO well because I don't want 6 babies.... lol)

WELCOME 23rd year of my life ... Let's make this one good!