The Holidays & HOPE

I can not believe it is almost the end of November already! A week from today is Thanksgiving and Matt and I will be enjoying that day with the Smiths. Unfortunately, every other plan we attempted to make for Thanksgiving has fallen through, but luckily we have some great friends to spend the day with. I am especially looking forward to the day after Thanksgiving so I can decorate for Christmas. I am anxious to get the tree up and enjoy the pretty lights for a couple weeks before we head to Charlotte. What a year this has been! It's hard to believe that Matt and I are coming up on 2 years of marriage next month and that in a couple weeks we will officially have been trying to have a baby for an entire year. I thought I would have gotten pregnant a long time ago. Heck, I thought I would have already gone through an entire pregnancy and we'd be celebrating Christmas with a newborn. Unfortunately, that is not the case. What is possible is that we could be celebrating a pregnancy by Christmas. I am hoping and praying with everything in me that this month will be it. I have had this feeling inside of me that it will happen this month. I felt the strongest sense of peace at the beginning of this month and it has made me feel a lot better about everything. I just sensed that God was telling me that everything was going to work out. I feel like this part of our journey may finally be over. I HOPE! I'm even going to hold out until December 13th to take a test (well, maybe) because that is the day Matt came home from Iraq last year. I think it would be awesome to find out on that day, and what would make it even better is it would be coming just in time for our anniversary on December 22nd and Christmas. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high, but hey, it's Christmas time anything can happen, right?! Here's to hope! That is what the season is all about anyway. :)

You know, it's funny how something so small can be so hard to make. Yet with patience and dedication you can master it and make it great. Tying a fly is similar to a marriage, it takes work but with work makes something beautiful and worth the time and effort. There always seems to be something new to deal with, but being married to Kristen has made me not want to run from problems but face them head on. It's amazing how a great woman can change you for the better. That is why I love her so much. God could not have blessed me with a better wife. I love you baby, forever and always

Todays news(from Matt)

Well after meeting with the Doctor, I realize that a chapter of my life may come to an end. I realized that becouse of my accident, my time in the Army may be cut short. It wasn't the news that I wanted to hear but at the same time it was. I surely can't say i did have a great run. I have done more while in the Army as an Infantrymen. I have worked with a platoon of men that I xan never forget. Having Kristen in my life while in the Army has been like having an angel beside me. Without her in my life I wouldn't be the man I am today. She is so supportive and careing not only for the past few months, but thoughout our marrage. I also know my family, my side and Kristens, are so supportive and praying for us. I know that all I need is to put my faith in God and take the path he has set for me.

-Matt

Life Changes

The next two weeks will provide some answers for Matt & I. On Tuesday, Matt has an appointment with his surgeon to find out what we will do next. We will find out then if there will be another surgery (which we are actually pulling for so that he can start making progress). If he has the surgery to straighten his leg out then hopefully he will be able to start walking again (slowly). We are praying for the best news possible. Surgery could mean Matt will be getting medically discharged, but that may not be such a bad thing. Next week, on the 18th, I have an appointment that will give us some answers about a few things. It could be very exciting, or very disappointing. I guess we will see! We are praying that there will be some fantastic news after this appointment. Changes, changes, changes.. I'm ready to figure out what is next for us.

Well it's that time again..

     I hate this time of the month. It is the week where we find out if we were successful in conceiving this month or not. Obviously, we have not been so far. (Well, last month was just a mess..). I learned not to test so early though so that I do not get let down by catching a chemical pregnancy. So, in a couple of days I get to find out! Not feeling very hopeful, but you never know.      Anyway, I am finally getting over my sickness :) Very happy about that. Next week I have a dentist appointment (which I am not looking forward to, because I was supposed to have a crown done back in March and never did, and now my teeth have been hurting pretty bad the past few days. Matt says I've been grinding my teeth even more than I usually do, too. Great.) The week after, on the 12th, Matt has an appointment with his doctor to follow up on his leg. Unfortunately, since he has not had much improvement in getting it straighter, he is probably going to need another surgery. This could mean a lot of changes for us in the near future. The Army will probably medically discharge him if he has another surgery. So, I guess we will see what happens. It is in God's hands. Also, Matt has been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. He has not been able to sleep at night and it is starting to get to him. Prayers are welcome :)

Rough Day

First day back at work today. There are so many new guys, its just not the same. Thinking that i may need another surgery. That might be the straw that breaks the camels back. I wish my leg would just go back the way it was, and i could go right back to work and do what i do best. I guess i am afraid of what might happen to me if i need another surgery. It may end my militery career. I am just going to pray and see what happens. It werid the job i am good at might end for me for some very stupid thing i did. I wish i could go back 6 weeks and be smarter than i was. It was so hard to watch my Bradley, my crew, and the rest of my platton drive off without me. Its seems so hard to get back up after you fall. But as Sergent Davis told me, "its not how hard you fall, but how you get back up".

-Matt

Dr. Appointments

Yuck. I have been sick for the past week and it stinks :( It's gotten to the point where I've lost my voice from coughing too much and my ribs are hurting. Hopefully I'll start feeling better soon though, because I want to start back to work. Tomorrow is supposed to be Matt's first day back at the company so we will see how that goes. He still needs to go see his doctor tomorrow morning. I just wish the poor guy could sleep! Nothing seems to work for him.
    Anyway, this morning I had an appointment at the Women's Clinic on post with our the doctor we have been seeing for infertility. Her name is Dr. Hayes and she has been wonderful so far. Unfortunately, the computers were down and she was unable to do anything for us today. She did call back later on and let us know that she put in another referral for Wilford Hall (located in San Antonio - they have reproductive endocrinologists there that can do more complex things for us such as IUI and IVF, which I am sure a lot of people have no idea what those are, lol). We also were able to let her know about the chemical pregnancy we had last month. I told her about the times I left messages for her to call me and she says she never got the messages (which I figured). So she is putting in lab work for me to have a pregnancy test done (? Not sure why at this point? ) and to do a Clomid Challenge (taking Clomid just like I have been, but they are going to  do lab work on various days of the month. I have to have this done to bring to Wilford Hall when we go). Matt also has to have some tests re-done as well.
  Besides that, nothing else is really new. I am ready to get back to school and back to work. I need to start my next class online (University of Phoenix) so I can finally finish my degree. I have about 8 classes left.


PS I can not wait to go to Charlotte for Christmas! On the plus side, Matt and I are discussing what we want to do for our anniversary this year. We are talking about getting away for a couple nights for it, so we will see! I can't believe it has almost been 2 years already. :)