Just another day in the 'Great Place'

Today has been insane. It started at 0500 this morning when Matt woke up and realized he had washed his last good pair of ACUs with a charcoal lined hunting jacket. The result was ACUs covered in charcoal (looked like charcoal dust). His pants, top, shirt, PC... covered! So, as Matt went off to work in another pair of ACUs; I got to work! I was super wife and managed to get all the stains out, re-wash and dry his clothes before he got home at 0800. Woo hoo! So that was incident #1 for the day. Incident #2 was that once again the person Matt is supposed to be doing road guard duty with failed to show up! He never shows up and Matt has repeatedly asked for someone more responsible to do this detail with him, but they fail to listen. Well, this morning was no different. The guy didn't show up and they had someone else fill in last minute, but the guy that was filling in couldn't do it for the entire time because he had an appointment. Well, go figure that as soon as the one guy left and Matt was alone.. along comes the division sergeant major! He wasn't too happy that Matt didn't have his battle buddy with him and Matt ended up having to go to the guy's office at 0900. Luckily, he did not get in trouble (not that he should have considering it was not his fault). Incident #2 over! Now, on to incident #3! After lunch I noticed a sign on our front door from Animal Control. It stated that they had my stray animal in their custody. My immediate response was to check to see if Kylee was still in the backyard and Hunter was still in the house; they both were. I called the number for Animal Control and let them know what I had received and that it must be some mistake because I had both of my animals. They said it was my lab, whose microchip linked him to us. SERGEANT! Apparently he was found wandering around one of the schools on post. I explained to the lady that he was no longer our dog and that we had given him to friends, who then had to give him to another family because he was over the weight limit they were allowed to have for animals. Sergeant was still our legal responsibility though because his microchip was in our name (we forgot to change that when we gave him away). Poor puppy was in the pound!  We went and picked him up and now have him at our home again. Apparently the people that were currently responsible for him were poor pet owners and we are suspicious of a few things. He has some sores on his belly and he is dirty and acting strangely. What a day it has been!! I just hope these people own up for what they did and pay for the fines we had to take care of. On a good note - we got our valued customer credit from Sprint because we had switched over our number to them and don't have to pay our phone bill this time :)

Just another day in the life of the McPhersons!

Update

So the first IUI did not work.. and now we are in limbo until we can try again. I was out of town for 2 weeks and now we're taking a month off so I can have a mental/physical break. The problem is that I do not think I ever truly get a mental break. Why does my heart have to hurt so bad? One day I'm fine and the next I feel so depressed that I don't want to get out of bed. Today is one of those yucky days :\ Oh well, at least I made it to the couch!

15dpiui

I am beginning to get frustrated. It has now been 15 days since the IUI and I am still getting negative tests.. and no sign of my period in sight. What the heck?! I feel like I should have gotten one or the other by now and now I am just in limbo. My doctor never scheduled a beta to be done and I am thinking of calling them to see if they can put one in for me. I leave to go out of town for 2 weeks in another 3 days so I would like to have somewhat of a clue as to what is going on before I leave. I just want an answer!

13dpiui

I'm pretty sure my heart can't take much more of this. I am so done with the emotional roller coaster of infertility. I want to kick and scream about how unfair it is. I would be a good mother and I know Matt would make a great father - so why? Why has 21 months of trying not resulted in a pregnancy? Why must I sit here and watch friend after friend conceive and give birth while I am still waiting and waiting for it to happen for us. My heart breaks! I get my hopes up and then they get crushed again with every failed cycle. I was so sure this IUI was going to work. I cried tears of happiness when we left the doctor after the IUI. We were positive this was it and we had done it. But here I am.. 13 days later and NO sign of any test turning positive anytime soon. I feel like having a meltdown. I just don't understand.. I really don't. Please God send me a miracle ...........

11dpiui & feeling negative

Today is 11 days past when I had the IUI and the hope that I had before is going away pretty quickly.. Tested this morning and negative! :( I know it's still early, but I was hoping that something would show up by now. Two weeks ago - I was positive that this was going to be it and I felt it in with everything in me, and now I'm not so sure. So I'm trying to prepare myself for the worse so that I can move on and keep going. Matt doesn't understand why I am already thinking ahead to what is next, but I can't help it. I guess thinking ahead and planning makes me feel like I have SOME control over this whole situation.. which he time and again reminds me that I don't. Just trying to trust God and hold on to hope.. praying for a miracle. I want to see 2 lines so bad!

7dpiui

So, we finally were able to have an IUI done this month after being cancelled last month due to no response from the Clomid. This time (instead of trying injectables like I thought we were going to) we upped my dosage of Clomid to 150mg on days 4-8 (not sure why we did them on 4-8 instead of the typical 3-7 or 5-9) and I was put on dexamethasone from days 4-14. I was nervous that it wasn't going to work, but low and behold, it did! I believe the dexamethasone made a huge difference for me and allowed the Clomid to work :) I was a little worried before my CD13 ultrasound because I was in a lot of pain around CD9 and thought I was hyper-stimulating. I had to lay in bed all day and use a heating pad.. that's how bad it was! I was also a little concerned I was about to ovulate super early, but I didn't. On July 11th (CD13) I had an ultrasound and they found a bunch of follicles and I was threatened with another cancelled cycle - depending on how my E2 levels looked when the labs came back. I had two 18mm follicles, a 15mm follicle, I think a 12mm follicle, a 10mm follicle, and a bunch that were less than 10. My thinking was that it wasn't too bad and I prayed HARD that my levels would come back alright so I could trigger and move on with the IUI. Well MIRACLE.. my E2 levels came back and weren't as high as the doctor thought they could be and she instructed me to trigger that night at 7PM and to come back Wednesday morning (the 13th) at 7AM for IUI. I had never given myself a shot before and I had a lot of anxiety in the minutes leading up to it, but once I did it - it wasn't that bad! I felt like super woman after that. I give props to the ladies who give themselves shots every day for injectable IUI cycles and IVF cycles. I do think that if I need to move forward to the next step ever, that I could do it. Anyway, Tuesday night we made the 3 hour drive to San Antonio so we could spend the night and get the rest before the IUI the next morning. We had to be there at 6AM and did not want to get up in the middle of the night this time. It was nice to get a little extra sleep for once. Once we got there and were waiting in the room - I just prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed that hubbys sample would come back with good numbers and that this would work for us. After 21 months - I am just ready for a miracle to happen! The doctor came in and (yay) we had 32 or 33 mil post wash. WOO HOO!! The actual IUI was painful for me and I was glad when it was over. I got to lay there for 20 mins and then we left. Now it has been a waiting game. The two week wait is horrible! I just want to know if this worked and if I am finally going to be a mommy. I hate to get my hopes up, but for the first time in quite a while - they are. And I know if this fails I am going to be crushed. I am being so greedy as to actually be hoping for twins. Hey, a girl can dream ;) I guess we'll find out the beginning of next week if our dreams are finally going to come true.. Praying!

It is now the end of June and things have been up and down since the last post. The day after I last posted, my brother-in-law passed away. It has been a very difficult period in our family's life since then. My dad has also continued to battle cancer, and is now about to have surgery at the beginning of July to hopefully remove the lymph nodes from behind his kidneys. Matt and I have still been trying to have a baby, too. I had surgery in April that corrected a septate uterus and looked for possible endometriosis (which I did not have, thank God!). We finally got to begin our first IUI cycle at the beginning of this month, but it was cancelled because there was no progress being made with my follicles. They were not responding to the medication and did not grow. So, I just finished taking medication to start a new cycle and begin again. Hopefully in the next few days we will be able to see the doctor again and HOPEFULLY make some progress. I am so ready for a miracle in our lives. I have struggled a lot with feeling jealous of others  because they have something I want and it comes so easily for them. I am happy for my friends that have conceived and have their children, but it hurts to watch so many around me experience this miracle that I am trying so hard for! It just seems unfair at times. I don't think I will ever fully understand why we must go through so much pain to start our family. I'm tired of having a heavy heart.. even though I pray about it every day and try to hand it over to God. Most days are good, but some days just stink! Today is one of those days (probably because of all the hormones!). Is it OK to kick and scream on occasion? Because that is how I feel at the moment.